There’s a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the main lesson of history is that we never learn the lessons of history. This makes us look so stupid that few people care to read it. They’d rather not be reminded. Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It’s very embarassing.
-A.Whitney Brown, The Big Picture
I had a linguistics professor who said that it’s man’s ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. but I think there’s one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren’t afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Due to the shape of the North American elk’s esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word “lasagna”.
-Cliff Claven on Cheers
He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts -- for support, not illumination.